The APP hereby issues this formal declaration of war against Italy called operation "Spaghetti". The reasons for this action are grave, carefully considered, and above all cultural and this action is not taken out of hate against Italian people.

First and foremost, APP has long harbored a burning desire to feel and see the masterpieces of the Italian Renaissance. These works have inspired generations, and it would be crime to both history and good taste to ignore them when they stand so invitingly within our reach. Our armies therefore march not only with steel, but with admiration.

However, the most serious and undeniable cause for war remains the following:

Italy is in possession of a copy of the Pula Amphitheatre which they keep in Rome. APP finds this arrangement historically confusing, geographically suspicious, and aesthetically provocative. While imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, forgery of amphitheaters cannot go unanswered. This matter alone would have sufficed as a casus belli.

APP wishes to make clear that this war is limited in scope and duration. Our stay in Italy will be brief and respectful. We shall admire, we shall repay hospitality, we shall address the arena situation, and then satisfied in spirit and conscience we shall return home very soon.

No permanent presence is intended. No prolonged occupation is desired. We came to see beauty, restore balance, and leave before the wine cellar becomes too tempting.

Image
"Creation of Bruce" - Zalogur, AD 1475


Signed,
The APP HQ.
Pew pew to all!



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