This article does not necessarily represent the official views of the entire Government of eSerbia, its ministers, deputy ministers, hidden dragons, golden tigers, or any other endangered political species.

Good day to all good people of this e-world.

The presidential elections are over.

After six months, the old team has lost power. A new energy has arrived. And, as I promised before the election to one of the few sincere friends of eSerbia, my comrade Donny T., the process of cleaning has officially begun.

I will not go too deep into the entire political situation, mostly because I have decided to cut every possible line of communication with those who have mistaken insults for arguments, swearing for strength, belittling for intelligence, and real-life threats for diplomacy.

And since those whose duty is to moderate our common channels of communication have suddenly developed a very convenient form of selective blindness, I have chosen the most rational political tool available to any sane person: distance.

I will leave that delicate art of official public communication to my colleague, comrade-in-arms, and special undercover detective — true emperor, Brkul Poaro.

I would introduce the full cabinet of the new government, but most of you already know the old faces, and the new ones will introduce themselves soon enough — some through work, some through articles, and some, naturally, through silence.

As for my party colleague Brkul, his detective expertise was forged in the harshest possible environment: solving complex criminal cases involving the transportation of forbidden substances by truck through wasteland routes. After such a successful and emotionally exhausting career, he decided to take a well-earned rest and dedicate himself to journalism.

There is no doubt that, as our PR, he will do a fantastic job informing both the world public and the domestic population about the most important events during the ongoing process of surface deratization.

Now, let us speak about the economy.

Since, of course, there was absolutely no corruption that the entire world was not talking about, since the citizens of eSerbia had absolutely not left the country or changed their citizenship and since the economy was already in such a fantastic and perfectly transparent condition, we were able to establish full control from the very first day.

No panic. No confusion. No emergency meetings.

Only calm hands, clear minds, and a new economic course drawn with surgical precision.

The currency has been placed under careful observation, the markets are being monitored, the state treasury is no longer treated as a private souvenir shop, and every dinar now knows exactly where it is supposed to go.

In other words: the era of “everything is fine, please do not look too closely” is over.

eSerbia is left to us as a true economic tiger. And, if we look carefully enough, perhaps also a slightly hidden dragon.

Thanks to the phenomenal work of previous ministers in this position over the last few months, the Serbian economy has marched with golden steps directly into the 22nd century. Our success is so advanced that even Korea looks at us with envy and quiet admiration.

Worry not, Hiki. We are stronger. Much stronger. Stronger beyond measurement, beyond reason, and — if necessary — beyond basic economic logic.

As for Poland, I will not even waste too many words. Their economy is merely a shadow beneath the paw of our tiger.

A golden paw, naturally.

And since I have already mentioned friends, parts of the new Government of eSerbia, while looking back at the past, must acknowledge the catastrophic scale of the mistake made by accepting a shared roof with those who consider nuclear bombs a valid instrument of friendship.

In that spirit, half of this government extends a hand of reconciliation to our far and distant eastern brothers and looks with a smile toward new mornings, better relations, and fewer misunderstandings.

Our good friend Donny T. was right about P&P as well. In fact, certain respected circles now whisper that Donny T. may not be just a visionary, but a true prophet — a man who sees economic miracles, diplomatic disasters, and hidden dragons long before the rest of us even open the spreadsheet.

Hence, the cleansing of P&P shall also receive our full and undivided attention sooner than soon.

And finally, since I have taken two ministerial positions related to the economy — I wanted three, but they said I have “big ambitions”, and honestly, I have no idea where they got such a ridiculous impression — I must admit something:

There is almost nothing left for me to do in the current office, because the economic tiger we inherited is already roaring through the deserts, terrifying all other animals, and leaving golden footprints behind him.

All that remains is to mount the hidden dragon from the middle of this article and sail through the clouds toward a brighter, richer, and slightly more ridiculous future.

P.S. We will Make Serbia Great Again.

P.P.S. Satire is a form of literary expression whose purpose is to entertain, exaggerate, criticize, and expose absurdities through humor. Any resemblance to real political incompetence, diplomatic disasters, economic miracles, or suspiciously ambitious individuals is purely coincidental. Probably.

Truly yours,

eSerbian Minister of Economy and Labor,
but more importantly,

Supreme Ideologue of the Foundation
for the Meaning of Meaninglessness

Meta.